Blog #1004 Forgiveness

Blog #1004  Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not absolution of sin and does not imply trust. We have no power to absolve sin.  Only the Lord, Jesus Christ, can do that and even he does not just absolve sins but rather pays the price for them.  We obviously can not pay that price.  When we forgive we simply leave the other person to the Savior’s judgment for Him to forgive or condemn according to His will.  As was noted in my earlier blog (#1003) love and forgiveness can be granted regardless of merit in obedience to the commandments of God.  We are commanded to love and forgive our enemies but we are not commanded to trust them.  We are commanded to trust God and rely on Him.

Recall the story of the rich man who lent a poor man some money.  The poor man was unable to repay the debt and so the rich man had determined to confine the poor man in debtor’s prison.  The man in the story who represents the Savior offers to pay the poor man’s debt if the rich man will relinquish his right to have the poor man put in debtor’s prison.  Notice in the story that the Lord does not demand that the rich man go without payment for the debt.  The Lord does not condemn the rich man for wanting to be repaid.  He does not act as though the rich man is bad for wanting payment.  In fact, he offers to pay the debt himself.

When we are the one who has been wronged we may feel that the Lord wants us to forgive without payment.  That is not true.  He wants us to trust Him for payment.  He says in the scriptures that we will be repaid a hundred fold for the losses we suffer (D&C 98:45).  He also asks us to leave vengeance in His hands and trust Him.  He promises that “vengeance is mine and I will repay” (Romans 12:19, Mormon 3:15, 8:20).  It is the blood of the saints and of the murdered prophets, not of the sinners that cries to him for vengeance (Ether 8:22, Alma 37:30).  It is apparently not wrong for the blood of the saints and murdered prophets to cry to him for vengeance.  It is wrong for us to take vengeance. He has ask us to leave vengeance in His hands.  He says that he will forgive whom he will forgive but of us it is required that we forgive all men (D&C 64:10).  We can forgive and let vengeance and punishment be His decision.  We can let the timing be His timing. We don’t need to assume that we are bad for wanting justice or for wanting vengeance.  We can choose to trust those things to His greater wisdom and timing and relinquish our right to take action ourselves.

Blog #1003 Love and Trust

Blog #1003  Love and Trust

My last blog focused on loving another individual without trying to make that person bad or good in our minds, without condoning painful behaviors and without accepting underserved blame ourselves.  This blog is about love and trust. Love and trust are not the same thing.  While it is wonderful when you can trust those you love that is not always the case.  Love does not imply trust. Sometimes you will hear people assert that “if you really loved me or if you really forgave me, then you would trust me”.  This is not true.  It is something that abusive people often say to the people they have hurt but it is not true. We are commanded by the Savior to love our enemies.  We are also commanded to forgive.  There is no commandment that says we should trust our enemies or trust people who hurt us even though we may love and forgive them.  

For us love and forgiveness are gifts that we can give freely without condition in obedience to the Lord’s commandments.  We give those gifts not based on the merit of the individual but out of a desire to be obedient to the Lord’s will.   Conversely, there is no place in the scriptures where we are commanded to trust those that hurt us. Trust is not a gift that is granted freely without condition.  Trust is earned.  Even God does not trust until trust is earned.

Nephi the son of Heleman was one of the people in the scriptures who earned the Lord’s trust.  In Heleman 10:3-10 the Lord tells Nephi that he has been observing his behavior and has determined that Nephi "will not ask contrary to God’s will".  Because of this Nephi is granted great power.  God desires to give all of His children all that He has but He does not do that until He knows that they "will not ask contrary to His will".  

This can be a model for us that we can use in determining who we can trust.  When we have proven someone over a period of time and know that they "will not ask contrary to our will" we can give them all we have to give.  For example, with our children, when we know that a child "will not ask contrary to our will" then we can leave the younger children in their care.  When we know a child "will not ask contrary to our will" then we can let them use the family car.  When we know someone "will not ask contrary to our will" then we can share the deepest desires of our hearts or our personal resources.  Remember that love and forgiveness can be freely granted as gifts regardless of merit but trust is earned.