The Power of Gratitude

Daniel G. Amen M.D., http://www.amenclinics.com/  has done extensive research on blood flow patterns in the brain using SPECT imaging.  He found that employing gratitude changes the blood flow patterns in the brain in two specific ways.  In research with Noelle Nelson, the author of The Power of Appreciation, he scanned her brain after mediating for 30 minutes on things she was grateful for in her life and again after spending several days focusing on major fears in her life.  The scans showed significant ddifferences in blood flow to the cerebellum and to the left temporal lobe.  The frightful brain showed seriously decreased activity in the cerebellum which is the part of the brain involved in physical coordination such as walking or playing sports.  There is also new research that shows the cerebellum to be involved in processing speed like clock speed on the computer so when there in decreased blood flow to this region people will tend to be clumsier and less able to think their way out of problems.  The left temporal lobe is involved with memory, temper control and mood so decreased blood flow in this part of the brain is associated with memory problems, depression, violence and dark thoughts.  Dr. Amen therefore asserts that "practicing gratitude literally helps you have a brain to be grateful for".  See  Change Your Brain, Change Your Body, page 229.  He also quotes Dr. Martin Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness and director of University of Pennsylvania Positive Psychology Center as asserting that happiness is not determined by your genes but can be cultivated.  According to Dr Seligman showing gratitude on a daily basis is one of the keys to increased joy, happiness and life satisfaction.
 In your efforts to help another person it may not be effective to simply tell them to be grateful.  Rather you may want to listen empathically long enough to understand the situation and then ask the person who is suffering how they have been able to endure.  Ask them what they are "hanging on to" or what has strengthened them and enabled them to go on.  By doing this you may be able to help them identify something that they truly are grateful for in the midst of the difficulty they are facing. This can be a beginning of reintroducing into their life the very positive physical, mental, emotional and spiritual effects of gratitude.

A Change in Our Very Natures





“And so God has made possible for you and me this blessing, a change in our very natures.”  What an incredible blessing a change so profound that it effects our very nature.  What could possibly effect such a change.  The year was 1989 and these words were spoken as part of an address in the October General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by Elder Henry B. Erying who was at that time a member of the presiding bishopric of the church.  The subject of his talk was “Remembrance and Gratitude”.

There was another promise made in that same discourse that effected me profoundly.  The two promises are related.  He said, “You can have an experience with the Holy Ghost today.”  That statement struck me profoundly because at that time I was suffering from clinical depression and had not felt the Spirit for some time.

My first response was not to be happy or hopeful but to be angry.  How could he stand up in front of millions of people and make such a promise.  He did not know me or my situation or the situation of countless others who perhaps weren’t even members of the church or any church for that matter.  How did he know if his listeners even believed in God?  Still somewhere deep inside me there still burned the desire to believe.  I did not understand how he could make such a promise.  I did not see how it could be true.  But I did, in the words of Alma, “desire to believe” (Alma 32:27).

We had recorded the conference and I played the video of Elder Eyring’s address over and over.  I studied and committed to memory the words, the inflection, the way he mounted the podium and the movement of his hands and head as he spoke.  I wanted to believe that such a thing was possible.  I wanted to feel the Spirit again in my life.  I wanted a change in my very nature.

Being able to feel the Spirit was so important to me because of an earlier experience I had with a conference address of the late President Spencer W. Kimball.  The year was 1975.  I was at that time the mother of four small children.  Both my husband and I were strong and active in the church.  I was the Primary President and my husband was the Elder’s Quorum President in our ward.  But something was wrong.  I could not honestly approach my neighbors and encourage them to join the church because I was not happy.  I reasoned that I was doing everything I could think of to live the gospel and keep the commandments so either I was “wrong” or the church was wrong.  I needed to know.

In President Kimball’s address he had listed a number of things he hoped the saints were doing.  I thought I was doing pretty well according to the list until he got to the part about personal scripture study and keeping a journal.  I determined to begin and was surprised as the weeks progressed that I was able to feel the Spirit so strongly in my little private study time.  It felt just like a good church meeting and yet I was all alone with the Lord.

       

It was then that an idea occurred to me that would change my life.  I determined to see how I could keep  Spirit with me as I moved into my daily chores.  The first task was to see if I could wake up my family without losing the Spirit.  That took about two weeks to accomplish.  I found that the Spirit would withdraw if I thought or said or did anything that offended the Lord.  The things that offend the Spirit and cause it to withdraw are listed in D&C 121:37.  They are covering our sins, satisfying our pride and vain ambition and exercising compulsion or dominion over the souls of men in any degree of unrighteousness.  Over time I learned from my own experience that when the Spirit left I had done something that fit into one of these three categories.  The Spirit withdrew if I attempted to cover my sins by blaming my children, spouse or others for things I was really responsible for like creating order in my life and making adequate preparation.  The Spirit withdrew if I attempted to satisfy my pride and vain ambition by trying to “look good” to the person sitting behind me at church rather than focusing on what the Spirit was directing me to do with my children.  The Spirit also withdrew if I attempted to compel obedience.  I knew, of course, that compelling people to be good was Satan’s plan in the beginning but sometimes it was so tempting.

Eventually I did learn to wake my family without losing the Spirit and to move through breakfast, family prayer, scripture study, getting dressed, brushing teeth and daily chores.  Those years were the best years with the fondest memories of my life and yet when I heard Elder Eyring’s talk I was depressed…virtually without hope.  I knew, however, that if I could feel the Spirit – if I could “have an experience with the Holy Ghost today” – as Elder Eyring promised then I could begin again.  I could start the process of sorting out with the Spirit what was right and wrong.  Perhaps only those who share the experience of clinical depression can understand how things that once seemed so clear like right and wrong could come to seem so confusing and hopeless.

Elder Erying said that the key was gratitude.  He said that the Lord teaches us by our experience.  He encouraged us to look for a touch of the Lord’s hand in our own experience and then return thanks to him for his goodness.  He promised that if we would do that the truth of what we recognized as the Lord’s hand in our lives would be confirmed by the power of the Holy Ghost.  He also said that the Holy Ghost would bring to our remembrance other evidences of the Lord’s hand in our lives.  If we chose to return thanks for the new remembrance the confirmation of the Spirit would be repeated.  Elder Eyring was right.  It was a slow process for me but finally through the darkness of despair the truth of the Lord’s hand in my life broke through with illuminating light.  This did not happen just once but became a pattern, a process that eventually led me out of the depression.  It also led me to an understanding about the biological, social and psychological aspects of mental illness.  Spiritual understanding was the first great key for me which eventually led me to discover other knowledge.

Interestingly the pattern Elder Eyring helped me recognize is the same pattern which is evident in Nephi’s lament after the death of Father Lehi.  Many of us may have wondered at Nephi’s exclamation as recorded in 2 Nephi 4:17.  Nephi is the hero, the strong one, the leader and now he records, “Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth:  O wretched man that I am!”  No, Nephi is not mentally ill although those who have experience depression might recognize the pathos in his words.  Depression is a natural part of the grieving process.  Father Lehi’s death besides creating the normal feelings we know to be part of loss also brought to a head Nephi’s conflicts with his older brothers.  Laman and Lemuel claimed leadership of the family because of birth order and yet, Nephi, the fourth son, because of personal righteousness had been given the birthright blessing.  In 2 Nephi 4:18-19 Nephi continues his lament.  “I am encompassed about, because of the temptation and the sins which do so easily beset me.  And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins…”  It is at this point that Nephi begins to follow the pattern I learned from Elder Eyring.  He starts to remember and recount past evidences of the Lord’s hand in his life.  2 Nephi 4:19 ends with Nephi saying …nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.”

The following verses start to recount his remembrance of the Lord’s hand in his life beginning in the wilderness.  “My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.  He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh, He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me” (2 Nephi 4:20-22).

Remembering his enemies renews the struggle in verses 26-27.  “O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?  And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh?  Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul?  Why am I angry because of mine enemy? 

To the natural man in all of us the answer is obvious.  Nephi’s brothers have repeatedly tried to kill him.  That might explain why he is angry.  Nephi’s lament, however is spiritual.  He knows his only strength is in the Lord not in his own power or ability.  He enjoins his own heart to “rejoice” and “cry unto the Lord”.  “O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yes, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.” (2 Nephi 4:30)  He concludes, “O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever.  I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh.  Yes, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm” (2 Nephi 4:34).  His final expression of trust parallels the verse in James 1:5 that led Joseph Smith to the Sacred Grove.  “Yes, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh.  Yes, my God will give me if I ask not amiss; there I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God the rock of my righteousness.  Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God.  Amen” (2 Nephi 4:35).

This then is how the “change in our very nature” happens.  Not by our own strength but through our trust in the Lord which is renewed as we recognize and give thanks for his blessings.  Each time we choose to remember and thank the Lord for his influence in our lives the Spirit comes which both bears witness of truth and brings other blessings to our remembrance.  As we thank the Lord for that which we now remember the process repeats itself over and over enlightening our minds, and filling our souls with joy.  Our hope is not in our own strength but in the Lord’s power in the face of our weaknesses.

King Benjamin expressed it this way “…even so I would that ye should remember and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures…”  King Benjamin does not want us to despair because of our weaknesses but to trust in the Lord whose greatness and goodness strengthens us and sustains us despite our weaknesses.  He continues, “and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel.”  The “mouth of the angel” spoke of redemption of Jesus Christ (Mosiah 3:3-27).  The power of God is greater than our sins and weakness.  Because of his greatness he can redeem us.  Because he is good, he desires to redeem us.  The Savior bought us with a great price.  He suffered that we might not suffer.

He has descended below all things and is in and through all things and he knows how to succor his children.  I have had occasion to talk to people in many different situations about their belief in a Higher Power.  I have asked people who have never heard of the church or its teaching, people who are caught in sin, people who are in despair and suffering.  These people have shared with me evidences of the Lord’s hand in their lives.  I have learned that what Elder Eyring said is true.  Remembrance of the Lord’s blessings combined with expressions of gratitude brings the witness of the Holy Ghost.  This can happen to anyone in any circumstance.  This can happen today or any day for all of us.  The influence of the Spirit bears witness of the Father and the Son and will eventually lead the honest in heart to a knowledge of the power of the redemption.  It begins as a shift in perception, a shift from a focus on our own strengths or weaknesses, errors, trials and suffering to a remembrance of and gratitude for the goodness and greatness of God.  The Holy Ghost bears witness of truth of the Lord’s hand in our lives which produces faith unto repentance.  The change in our nature happens the only way it can, through the power of the redemption.  The redemptive process happens whether our agony results from our own sins or from sins committed against us or from some combination of both.  The Savior suffered not only for our sins but also for our sorrow.  Mourning turns to rejoicing.

Gratitude for this process produces a change in heart.  We no longer desire to do evil but to do good continually.  We are filled with hope and perfect love (Moroni 8:26).  And so the change occurs. The remembrance King Benjamin urged was of the power of the redemption.  In the words of Elder Eyring, “And so the remembrance King Benjamin urged upon us can be ours.  Remembrance is the seed of gratitude, which is the seed of generosity.  Gratitude for the remission of sins is the seed of charity, the pure love of Christ.  And so God has made possible for you and me this blessing, a change in our very natures.”  The process is repeated and magnified each week for those who partake of his sacrament and keep their covenant to “always remember Him”.  Part of that is to always remember and return thanks for his greatness and goodness in the face of our own weakness and nothingness.  His promise is that, if we do that, we will always have his Spirit to be with us.  The constant influence of the Spirit on our minds and bodies refines and purifies us.  This process is called sanctification and it can enable us to one day to stand in the presence of God.  That is indeed a change in our very natures.  It is a change that can begin with remembrance, expressions gratitude and an experience with the Holy Ghost today.     

Blog #1004 Forgiveness

Blog #1004  Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not absolution of sin and does not imply trust. We have no power to absolve sin.  Only the Lord, Jesus Christ, can do that and even he does not just absolve sins but rather pays the price for them.  We obviously can not pay that price.  When we forgive we simply leave the other person to the Savior’s judgment for Him to forgive or condemn according to His will.  As was noted in my earlier blog (#1003) love and forgiveness can be granted regardless of merit in obedience to the commandments of God.  We are commanded to love and forgive our enemies but we are not commanded to trust them.  We are commanded to trust God and rely on Him.

Recall the story of the rich man who lent a poor man some money.  The poor man was unable to repay the debt and so the rich man had determined to confine the poor man in debtor’s prison.  The man in the story who represents the Savior offers to pay the poor man’s debt if the rich man will relinquish his right to have the poor man put in debtor’s prison.  Notice in the story that the Lord does not demand that the rich man go without payment for the debt.  The Lord does not condemn the rich man for wanting to be repaid.  He does not act as though the rich man is bad for wanting payment.  In fact, he offers to pay the debt himself.

When we are the one who has been wronged we may feel that the Lord wants us to forgive without payment.  That is not true.  He wants us to trust Him for payment.  He says in the scriptures that we will be repaid a hundred fold for the losses we suffer (D&C 98:45).  He also asks us to leave vengeance in His hands and trust Him.  He promises that “vengeance is mine and I will repay” (Romans 12:19, Mormon 3:15, 8:20).  It is the blood of the saints and of the murdered prophets, not of the sinners that cries to him for vengeance (Ether 8:22, Alma 37:30).  It is apparently not wrong for the blood of the saints and murdered prophets to cry to him for vengeance.  It is wrong for us to take vengeance. He has ask us to leave vengeance in His hands.  He says that he will forgive whom he will forgive but of us it is required that we forgive all men (D&C 64:10).  We can forgive and let vengeance and punishment be His decision.  We can let the timing be His timing. We don’t need to assume that we are bad for wanting justice or for wanting vengeance.  We can choose to trust those things to His greater wisdom and timing and relinquish our right to take action ourselves.

Blog #1003 Love and Trust

Blog #1003  Love and Trust

My last blog focused on loving another individual without trying to make that person bad or good in our minds, without condoning painful behaviors and without accepting underserved blame ourselves.  This blog is about love and trust. Love and trust are not the same thing.  While it is wonderful when you can trust those you love that is not always the case.  Love does not imply trust. Sometimes you will hear people assert that “if you really loved me or if you really forgave me, then you would trust me”.  This is not true.  It is something that abusive people often say to the people they have hurt but it is not true. We are commanded by the Savior to love our enemies.  We are also commanded to forgive.  There is no commandment that says we should trust our enemies or trust people who hurt us even though we may love and forgive them.  

For us love and forgiveness are gifts that we can give freely without condition in obedience to the Lord’s commandments.  We give those gifts not based on the merit of the individual but out of a desire to be obedient to the Lord’s will.   Conversely, there is no place in the scriptures where we are commanded to trust those that hurt us. Trust is not a gift that is granted freely without condition.  Trust is earned.  Even God does not trust until trust is earned.

Nephi the son of Heleman was one of the people in the scriptures who earned the Lord’s trust.  In Heleman 10:3-10 the Lord tells Nephi that he has been observing his behavior and has determined that Nephi "will not ask contrary to God’s will".  Because of this Nephi is granted great power.  God desires to give all of His children all that He has but He does not do that until He knows that they "will not ask contrary to His will".  

This can be a model for us that we can use in determining who we can trust.  When we have proven someone over a period of time and know that they "will not ask contrary to our will" we can give them all we have to give.  For example, with our children, when we know that a child "will not ask contrary to our will" then we can leave the younger children in their care.  When we know a child "will not ask contrary to our will" then we can let them use the family car.  When we know someone "will not ask contrary to our will" then we can share the deepest desires of our hearts or our personal resources.  Remember that love and forgiveness can be freely granted as gifts regardless of merit but trust is earned.

Blog 1002 Learning to Love

In my last blog I posted a quote from Viktor Frankl on “The Meaning of Love”.  This quote was taken  from his world famous book, Man’s Search for Meaning.  There are many of us who would like to learn to love in the way he describes.  We would like to learn to love in a way that enables us to see what is potential in those around us and in a way that enables those around us to more easily actualize all that is good in themselves.  We would also like to learn to see and actualize all that is good in our own selves.

I would like to suggest an exercise that might be helpful.  The exercise is simple and yet could very possibly take a lifetime to master.  You simply choose an individual and attempt to feel within yourself a pure, plutonic, Christ like love for that individual.  I suggest you start with someone that you already have positive feelings toward.  After you master this exercise for those who are easy for you to love you could choose to work toward having loving feelings for those who are more difficult for you to love.  You can practice on anyone who crosses your path.  You don’t have to know the person well to do this exercise.

It might be helpful to close your eyes and visualize the individual that you are attempting to love in a pure, Christ like manner.  Allow yourself to sense or visualize your own body and soul filling with love and light from the Savior and extend that love to the individual you have chosen.  Notice anything within yourself that blocks you from freely extending those loving feelings to the other individual.  At first you may just sense a block or a void or a disruption.  As you continue you may be able to identify and release the cause of the block or the meaning of the disruption.  The cause is within yourself.  First look within yourself to see if you are judging this individual in any way.  If you find that you are judging this individual then release your judgments.  Simply dismiss them from your mind and your being.  Do not analyze them or wonder about them or dispute them.  Simply release the judgments from your mind.  Next look inside yourself for any criticism of this individual.  Again don’t analyze your criticisms just recognize them and release them from your mind and your being.   Check again inside yourself and see if there is a free flow of love and light to this individual or if it is blocked or disrupted in some way.  If so then look within your self again and check to see if you have any unkind thoughts or any ill will toward  this individual.  If so then simply release them.  Some people find it helpful or even essential to ask the Savior for His assistance in this process.  Check inside of yourself for any fear that may be blocking your capacity to love this individual in a pure Christ like manner.  Dismiss the fears.  Look for resentments, coveting, envy, jealousy or any other feeling that is blocking you from feeling the pure love of Christ for this person.  Check for each, one at a time, and release them.  When you have completed this exercise visualize your body and the other individuals body completely filled with unrestrained love and light. 

It is important in doing this exercise that you keep your mind and heart in the realm of truth.  It is not necessary to distort the truth in order to love another individual.  The Savior instructed us in the Sermon on the Mount to love our enemies.  He did not deny that they are our enemies and we do not have to deny that they are our enemies.  We can love our enemies as they are.  We do not have to distort them or their intentions in order to love them.  We do not need to pretend that they did not mean to hurt us or imagine that they are sorry for their behaviors.  We don’t need to assume they didn’t know they were hurting us.  We can simply choose to relinquish our judgments, release the unkind feelings and love them.  

Similarly it is not necessary to distort our own feelings, thoughts, actions or intentions in order to love another individual.  We do not need to make ourselves the “bad one” by saying things like “It is all right to hurt me”.  In the eyes of the Lord it is not all right to hurt people and that includes hurting you.  Neither is it necessary to distort the truth by accepting undeserved blame if the situation was truly not your fault.  When someone hurts us we do not have to say, "That is OK" or "It was my own fault that I got hurt".  It is important to keep our minds and hearts in truth in order to do this exercise.  I like to think of this exercise as being like the “mote and the beam” from the Savior’s teachings.  We are attempting to remove the “beam” from our own eyes so that we can see the “mote” more clearly in our brother’s eye.  We are not doing this exercise so that so we can deny the mote exists or in an attempt to cover it up or excuse it away.  When we finally can remove the “beam” from our eyes with the Savior’s help we are then in a position to see the "mote" more clearly and to receive direction from Him regarding our relationship with the other individual. 

Lunch & Learn April 19, 2011

“Advanced Mind Moment”

Topic for the Tuesday, April 19, 2001

“Lunch and Learn” 

Dr. Daniel Amen is the premier pioneer in the use of brain scans in psychiatry.  It is his firm belief that if we want to know what is happening in the brain we have to look at the brain.  Just as doctors take an x-ray of a broken arm he believes that we must take a picture of the brain in order to discover what the problem is and how to correct it.  He uses a method called SPECT imaging which employs radioactive isotopes to make the blood flow patterns in the brain visible.  He research has led to a wealth of information about how the brain works.

Dr. Amen’s first best seller was called Change your Brain, Change your Life.  It is written for the lay population and it is reported that even children have been able to understand the functioning of their brains through reading his book.  Recently he released a new book called Change Your Brain, Change Your Body  based on years of experience with brain imaging and his work with many clients on the Mind Body connection.  The basic difference between the two books is that the first book focuses on how your brain effects the way you process information and the second book focuses on how the way you process information impacts your brain and your body. The free “Lunch and Learn” sponsored by Advanced Health Clinic on the third Tuesday in April will feature a brief review of both books as well as a mini lesson on reading SPECT imaging brain scans and an introduction to Dr. Amen’s website, www.amenclinics.com.  

Lunch & Learn March 15th

The "Advanced Mind Moment" portion of the March "Lunch and Learn" (formerly Brown Bag Lunch) will focus on Autism.  Two books will be featured this month, Thinking in Pictures: My Life with Autism by Temple Grandin and a fictional novel, House Rules by Jodi Picoult.  Both books help the reader understand the how the mind works for people with Asperger's Syndrome which is a mild form of Autism. 

Temple Grandin has a Ph. D. in animal science from the University of Illinois and has designed one third of all of the livestock-handling facilities in the United States as well as many in other countries throughout the world.  She lectures widely on Autism.  She describes her mental process as "thinking in pictures".  She has the ability to alter the images in her brain and combine the various images and see them from any perspective.  This ability has enabled her to succeed and excel in a world that processes information in a way that is foreign to person's with Autism.  She readily admits that not all Austic persons think in visual images but her work has enabled scientists to begin to understand an entirely different way of coding experience.  She has become famous because she can see with "a cow's eye view" and has thus been able to design livestock facilities that the cattle move through without being prodded or forced which many people once thought impossible.  She can look at a facility and discover what aspects are causing the cattle to balk. 

Jodi Picoult has created a main character in her book who also has Asperger's Syndrome and thinks in pictures.  Her main character is a male teenage boy but is based on hours of conversation with a teenage girl with Asperger's.  The book tells the story from the perspective of the main character, his brother, his mother and a detective.  Each describes the same event the way they experienced it.  It is an easy read and paints a picture of life with Autism and life in a family with a child with Autism.

Besides thinking in pictures two other features of Asperger's and Autism are noteworthy.  TheAutistic brain lacks the capacity to gate out information.  Gating out information means that most brains have the capacity to pay attention to certain stimuli and to be completely unaware of other stimuli.  It is this capability that allow us to pay attention to one conversation when we are in a crowed room with many people and background noises.  The Autistic mind is continually bombarded with sensation.  It is also very difficult for an Autistic Individual to form close emotional ties with other people.  These features of Autism are addressed in both books.